Sunday, June 4, 2017

Not Out but Through "Eradicating the "D" word from your Marriage


I know the challenges that couples are faced with especially in the beginning stages of marriage. In fact, the first 3 - 5 years  can be the hardest in marriage why, because you're trying to bring two different lives together and make it one. Let's not even include if you have children or a blended family, it is even more difficult.  That in itself is a hard pill to swallow. So just imagine if these two individuals are not whole, dealing with past issues, hurt, pain, insecurities or anything that will prohibit them from being whole within themselves and enter into marriage in that state. I know for me and my husband the first couple years was challenging for us and we had a hard time just simply getting along if I can be brutally honest with you. He had his ways and I had my ways and we both were very stubborn people. We both wanted our way and many times acted out of pure selfishness in order to get it.

There were times we were distant with one another and there were times where we blamed one another for various things in our marriage. We were on two separate teams. Yeah.... two separate wavelengths and we were foolish enough to think that our marriage would still be blessed. 

There were times where I wanted to walk away and yes I used the D-word (Divorce) on more than one occasion. I threatened to leave, threatened separation and threatened that I would be better off with someone else. But what I can tell you is that anytime you're using words to tear others down vice build them up and especially in your marriage, then you are headed for a road of disaster. 

See for me because I was in a very abusive relationship in the past, my tongue was a serious fighting machine. I wasn't able or strong enough to fight back physically, so I did so with my mouth. I would say words to tear you down and think nothing of it.

I have a gift. God gave me this voice, he gave me the ability to be able to speak to others and in my speaking and writing lives transform and it is only through his grace and mercy and him working in and through me.

There was a point where I used my gifts and my strengths for the wrong reasons and wrong motives even in my marriage. I failed to see the whole picture at times because I wanted to paint my own canvas the way I wanted it and I didn't want to take in consideration of including my husband. I did not want to have to deal with his past, his hurts, his pain, his insecurities, his discomfort. 

Can I tell you something? Regardless of how much you feel that you have arrived, we all have insecurities. We all come to the marriage with a bag. Now how full that bag still may be is up to you and the work that you've done beforehand but we all come with a bag

There was a turning point in our marriage and my husband and I had to come to grips that we were too selfish people and in order for our marriage to be healthy, happy and to last for a lifetime as God intended, there were some things that we had to do.

Now before my husband realized it, I realized, so I was the initiator. To all the wives who feel that your husband isn't onboard and you are in this thing alone, just know that your consistency and you going deeper in God is going to make all the difference. 

I want to share with you 5 things really quickly as to why Eradicating the D word from your marriage is so vitally important. 

There's a chapter in my most recent book where I talked about healthy conflict and a part of that is creating boundaries in your marriage and establishing below the belt rules. 

Eradicating the D word should be one of those boundaries in your marriage and I want to share with you 5 reasons why.  

1. You give the enemy ammunition to use against your marriage! Yeah that's right, every time you're speaking negatively into your marriage and you are using words that are contrary to the word of God then you are giving the enemy a foothold to come in swinging. It is the small foxes that destroy the vine and he will use every little small thing, inchworm issue and problem and your words to destroy your marriage.

2. You will see what you have been seeding! Are you noticing that even now in your marriage you're seeing certain things come to pass because you have spoken them? That works for both good and evil.  You have to be very mindful of what words you allow to speak out of your mouth regarding your husband and your marriage. I can assure you that what you say is what you will see and what you see is what you said.

3. Words do hurt and in fact they can and will kill! Proverbs 18:20-21 says "A man's belly shall be filled with the fruit of his mouth; with the increase of his lips shall he be satisfied. Vs. 21 Death and life are in the power of the tongue and they that love it shall eat the fruit thereof." At no time should you use your words to tear others down and then think by simply apologizing that things are going to be better. As a matter of fact, quite the opposite is true and is going to take some time for you not only to get over those words that have been spoken over your life but to be able to rebuild and restore what someone else has torn down which by the way you probably worked tirelessly to build up from a previous incident.  You don't want that to set that tone in your marriage. If these are things that you have been doing prior to now, make a commitment that after today you will no longer do them.

4. Marriage is a lifetime agreement so get over it! Listen, it takes a lifetime for marriage to get just right so regardless if you been married for 5 years, 10 years, 20 years or one month, you have a lifetime to get it right however, there are intentional steps and things that you have to do in order to contribute to the health and wealth of your marriage. Part of that is praying, part of that is investing, part of that is being on one accord but in all things you have to make sure that you are taking the necessary steps at the right time.

5. You neglect its original intent! So when you're using the D word and threatening to leave the marriage covenant because you're hurt, your emotions are all over the place, you don't like the situation anymore or for whatever reason outside of adultery, desertion or if you are in the life threatening situation then you're going against the order of God. God never intended divorce and in fact he hates divorce. So think twice about using those words and think twice about what God intended for your marriage to be and do here on the Earth.

In order for any of this to be possible, you are going to have to go Deeper!  know I know you may be over it, you maybe tired of being the initiator, you may be tired of doing all the work, you may feel like you're in it by yourself or you just maybe feeling. What I can tell you is this, obedience reap rewards and it will be because of your obedience to God first then to your husband, you will see the rewards.

So can I count on you to take 6 Action Steps to going Deeper in your marriage starting today?

IT'S TIME TO GO DEEPER:

1. What can you do starting today individually or as a couple to reposition yourselves in your marriage? What tools and resources do you need and what are you willing to do to go about obtaining them?

2. What would you do differently starting today to be at a different place in your marriage? Are you committed to doing those things? What is your plan and strategy?

3. What does working at your marriage mean to you? The common phrase is "marriage is work",  but I challenge you to rethink this and think of your marriage as a lifetime investment so with that being said what is the return that you would like to see on your investment? What are you willing to do starting today to ensure you see that return?

4. In your marriage what is considered a good day vs a bad day? When you guys experience these things how do you manage it? Do you reward one another for the good days? Do you extend grace and forgiveness when days are not so good? How are you currently handling this?

5. Is the D word still present in your marriage? If so, are you committed today to removing it once and for all come hell or high water? Remember, the enemy is using this to his advantage, let's not give him the victory. 

6. Are you willing to recommit to your marriage starting today? I know before reading this, you may not have had high hopes or you were discouraged or unsure, but I'm asking you as of today and after reading this blog are you willing to recommit to your marriage? 

For many of you this blog blessed you tremendously. You know exactly what you need to do and how to do it so that you can stop seeking a way out but learning to start working through things together with your husband. 

For many others, this was just the tip of the iceberg for you and you desperately need more. You need some proven steps and strategies that are going to help you not want to give up but want to get up and be able to do what's necessary to save or strengthen your marriage.  

For those of you that are in that space, I would like to personally invite you to join me on Saturday June 24th at SHE'S F.I.R.E 2K17 Conference in Beltsville, MD. At this conference, I will be sharing with you how to re-ignite or initiate the F.I.R.E. in your marriage so that you and your husband can have the life that you love starting right now. Don't think for a minute that there has to be all these issues and problems going on in your marriage for you to attend this conference because what I do know is that constant improvement in you is constant improvement in your marriage. 

Even if you are at a place of good, I am going to show you how to get to a place of great  and to excel from that place.



Click HERE to check out the details and to register. Right now we have a two pay option available so you can secure your ticket for as low as $48 today and have the balance paid by the 16th of June.

I hope to see you there but most of all I want to see your marriage transformed!

This is your girl Treal Ravenel aka the Wife Coach.. allow God to arise in your marriage and every enemy be scattered!


Click HERE to register for SHE'S F.I.R.E 2K17!

Treal Ravenel the Wife Coach






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Monday, May 15, 2017

Childless Mother & the Motherless Child Victory!




Motherhood is one of the most challenging and rewarding roles in society so no wonder so many women struggle with the feeling of measuring up while on the other hand, so many women desire to reap the benefit and honor of bringing forth life.

If you have lost your mother, grandmother or had an absent mom due to death, prison, sickness addiction or any other reason than I want to encourage you. If you lost a child due to an accident, suicide, miscarriage or if you are struggling to conceive, I want to encourage you.

Going through any lost is tough but losing a mother or child or carrying the burden of a deep desire to conceive is by far one of the hardest. 


First thing first, if you find yourself blaming yourself, stop it! Despite what you are going through EVERYTHING will work together for your good. Regardless of the bad decisions you made, the mistakes you made, the opportunities you allowed to pass you by; you still have an assignment and purpose for your life that no one can take it away. Then it wasn't your time, but now it is your time, so join me in claiming VICTORY as I share with you seven amazing women who found victory in the midst of their storm with motherhood!

Sarah went from being barren to birthing a son to many nations but she had to wait on God's timing. When the angel of the Lord told Sarah she would bring forth a child, she straight laughed in his face. Thankfully God's promise did not rely on her faith.  So if you are struggling with disbelief or lack of faith, God can give you the desires of your heart just be obedience and he will increase your faith and bless you above and beyond what you could ever think or imagine.

Pharaoh's Daughter served as surrogate mother to Moses as her father sought to kill all the little Hebrew boys but despite the adversity, despite the circumstances, God provided a safe haven for Moses just as God is providing a safe haven for your child if you had to give you child up for adoption or if you weren't/aren't able to care for your child(ten) right now.  If you are serving as that surrogate mother, stepmother, foster parent, godparents; you are truly a blessing to the children you cover, raise, support and provide that safe haven weather it is just for a day or lifetime.  Your children will rise up and call you blessed.

Hagar was used and abused by Abraham and Sarah to serve as Sarah's maidservant until Sarah birth her own son, Isaac. When she saw how Sarah was miss treating her and how Abraham allowed it, Hagar got out of there!  She refused to be mistreated by anyone even if it required her to be displaced and experience discomfort for a season.  If you are being mistreated, I want you to ask yourself why you are tolerating miss treatment. Don't you know you are far more valuable than rubies? Don't you know you are fearfully and wonderfully made in the image of God!

Hannah also had to wait on God.  She pleaded, time and time again with God to give her a son as she was barren. She promised God if He gave her a son, she would give that son back to Him and she kept her promise to God and when God gave her a son, she named her son Samuel and she dedicated Samuel back to God.  What are your motives for wanting a child? Is it for selfish reasons or is it to glorify God? Everything you should do, should be to glorify the Lord. If God gave you a son or daughter are you willing to dedicate that child back to Him?

Rachel was a mother to many and she was married to Jacob but she was unloved by her husband. Her husband always wanted to be married to her sister, Leah but their father deceived Jacob after he had worked seven years to marry Leah but Laban (the father) gave Jacob Rachel instead and made Jacob work another seven years to also marry Leah. Rachel thought if she had Jacob's children he would love her more but that didn't quite work out as planned. Despite her husband lack of love, Rachel still rise up to her role and responsibility as a mother to her sons. 

Can you relate to Rachel? Does your child's father give you the cold shoulder or just doesn't love you anymore? Despite his lack of love or participation, you have a job to do and it has to get done weather he loves you and your children along the way or not. Always remember don't get weary in well doing, you will reap a harvest if you don’t give up!

Naomi was widowed who also lost her two sons.  Left with two daughters-in-law who she urges them both to go back with their parents and remarry. One of her daughters-in-law, Ruth refused to go back home.  She told Naomi, "I will go where you go and I will serve the God you serve".  Despite Naomi's sorrow and bitterness, she witnessed to her daughter-in-law through her character. You may be the daughter-in-law to a bitter mother-in-law but don't allow that to steal your joy. Find the good in her and love her where she is even if it isn't where you think she should be.

If you are the mother-in-law, witness to your daughter-in-law with your deeds and your character be the example.  For the word of God says the older woman are to teach the younger women how to behave.

Esther was the motherless child.  It is unknown exactly what age she lost her parents but her uncle Mordecai stepped in and made sure she was okay.  Around the age of 12, she was literally competing and preparing to rise and reign as Queen. She could have had self-pity but she refused to allow her circumstances or where she came from define who she was and who she would become. If for whatever reason today, you are that motherless child/woman don't wobbly in self-pity or waste time questioning God. Know that He has a plan for you! He had it written before you were even formed in your mother's womb.

No matter which scenario you find yourself in, I encourage you to trust in God. Know He would never leave you nor forsake you.  Know he has plans to prosper you and not to harm you. Get connected to women of faith by connecting with groups like DMI Kingdom Women Lounge Facebook group, invest in your self-development to include your spiritual, emotional and physical health.  Get in the room with other like-minded women who want to achieve the same goals and aspirations that you want to achieve. Perhaps you don't  know where to start? Start with registering for the She's F.I.R.E. Conference 2017 happening on June 23-24, 2017 at Sheraton  College Park North in Maryland just 20 minutes outside of D.C.  Today only you can buy one ticket for $97 and get the second ticket for only $25!!!  Bring you and your daughter to experience total transformation!

P.S.  I pray you had an amazing Mother's Day yesterday! Unfortunately I got sick and I wasn't able to post yesterday.  I hope this blessed you!


P.P.S. Be sure to leave a comment below and let me know what you think.  Can you relate to any of these amazing women from the Bible? Have you started to experience your victory?  I would love to hear your story.

P.P.P.S.  Right now I am a childless mother.  The boy in the pic at the top of the page is my Godson/nephew, Bernard like 8 years ago.  His is blessed to have one of the best mom's in the world, my sister Sharron who I called my supermom!  She worked three jobs to provide for her and her children while attending school full time pursuing her R.N. degree.  I am so proud of her! The boy in the bottom page is my godson JaQuan, this pic was three years ago.  He will be 15 this year.  He also is blessed with an amazing mom who works hard to provide for her family and create experiences for them that will last a lifetime.

About the author: Jill Bulluck's Bio | Founder of Detour Movement Inc. a Faith-based organization that reaches 10,000 + women a week promoting the necessity of discovering your true identity through self-actualization rather than materialistic things, living out your purpose in a bold and unapologetic way, creating a life you love, attracting and keeping healthy happy love that leads to a lasting marriage. She is known as the Life & Dating Reinvention Strategist who prepares and positions women who have been able to get all the pieces of the puzzle of life together except this one area, dating relationships. As a result of working with her; women break free from toxic relationships;and ignite their life by standing and speaking boldly in their truth to becoming the boss of their life by being Authentic, Courageous and Non-Negotiable about the life and love they desire.  She is also the best-selling author of the book, "The Biggest Lies Women Believe about Men, Dating and Themselves and co-hostess of the annual  She's F.I.R.E. Women's Conference that gathers over 100 women each year. Visit here website at jillbulluck.com for more information.

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Sunday, May 7, 2017

3 Things you can do right away to foster growth in your marriage!


I have spoken with quite a few wives who feel like their marriage isn’t growing.  The length of the time they have been married varies from 3 to 10 or more years.  Many of them feel more frustrated than free since the day they said I do. Some even feel like they have plateau in the marriage and not sure of what is next.

I have some good news for you. Growth takes time and it is intentional.  During the first 2 years of my marriage, I felt like many of you – like nothing was happening. I can only imagine what others are feeling especially those that have been married much longer. What I can tell you is that the growth in your marriage begins with you. It will not be an overnight process and it will take consistency on both endsMarriage is like a business and if you want it to grow and succeed; you have to show up every day.

If I asked the question right now “Do you show up every day”; how would you be able to answer that? We tend to show up daily for our jobs, our kids, our businesses and even ministry, but when it comes to our marriage; not so much.  Why is that? The very thing we want more from, we then to give less to.

Good News! Each day you, yes you can do things to contribute to the growth of your marriage.  That is why marriage is a lifetime because it truly takes a lifetime together to get this thing 100% right. Self-growth is often the norm rather than the exception and before you argue that you are perfect or close to it- do me one favor and measure your current growth. The truth of the matter whether you realize, admit it or not, some growth has already taken place.  It may not be as noticeable or desirable as you like but something has changed.  Now that I said that, am I right or am I right?

Sometime growth is stagnant or delayed because once you get to a certain level you stop doing what you have done to get to where you are.  You will never see a committed and active athlete stop working on improving themselves.  Regardless of how great they are they never stop improving to be even better. 

Whether it is you or your husband, someone needs to be the initiator and because you are reading this blog, I vote for you (smile). 

THE 1ST ORDER OF BUSINESS TO ANY LEVEL OF CHANGE OR GROWTH IS REVIEWING YOUR MIND!  ROMANS 12:2 “Be not conformed to this world but be ye transformed by the reviewing of your mind, that ye may prove what is that good, acceptable, and perfect will of God.” Renewing of your mind consist of you getting rid of your old way of thinking and adopting the mind of Christ.  You have to change your mind about your marriage and the man you married.  Philippians 2:5 “Let this mind be in you which was also in Christ Jesus.”  You can’t focus on all bad and expect all good to be the result.  If there are areas that need to be addressed; communicate them and work through them together.  In times of disagreements; renewing your mind will help you to see that neither is right or wrong but both may have a different way of looking at things and handling them. Guess what? There is nothing wrong with that and can be used as an advantage and strength to your marriage if you allow it.

THE 2ND ORDER OF BUSINESS IS YOU NEED THE HOLY SPIRIT TO BE YOUR GUIDE THROUGH IT ALL! When the Holy Spirit is at work within you, you will be aware of your sin in your life that is affecting your marriage.  You will be able to clearly identify what is wrong and what you need to do or change to make it right.  It is ok if at first you don’t succeed, simply try try again.  Try as many times as needed.  Failure doesn’t mean there is no progress; it just means there is still room for improvement.

THE 3RD ORDER OF BUSINESS IS TIME! Getting upset or mad when you don’t see things happening right away further delays the process - doing so will cause you to neglect or ignore the change that has taken place.  He who began a good work in you, will carry it onto completion until the end and that includes the work started in your marriage.  If God started the work in you; you committed to renewing your mind; the Holy Spirit is leading you then know that it is all a matter of Time before you can clearly see the growth happening in your marriage.

Doing these 3 things is so important for you as a wife in helping foster growth in your marriage and this is why we are hosting the She's On F.I.R.E. Women Conference June 23-24, 2017 in Beltsville, MD.  The conference is for women who want clarity and direction on their mission and vision as they wait for their Mr. Right and for those who are married maintain a healthy life and marriage.  Having a healthy marriage starts with knowing who you are and identifying your purpose and assignment here on this Earth.

The conference website is ShesonFIRE2017.com.

You can inbox me on Facebook @TrealRavenel for more information.


P.S. As part of our annual conference, we are looking to partner with fertility professionals and corporations who sell natural products.  Contact us via our website at detoumovement.org.

Treal Ravenel aka the Wife Coach




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Sunday, April 23, 2017

A Woman’s Work is Never Done – Take Care!

I remember teasing my husband often about his extreme work ethics. He is the hardest working man I know and I mean that literally!  It seems though lately here that is becoming my truth. In the midst of raising a family, still working a 9-5, growing a business, holding a leadership role in my local church among other obligations; all I seem to be doing lately is work work work.  Now don’t get me wrong; I don’t mind working, but I also believe that there should be a happy median between working and resting.

Many of you have gotten the working part down to a science but the resting part is an entirely different story.  You wake up day after day seeing what challenges you will conquer for that day. Some of you may even welcome on new or more intense challenges to push you beyond your limits or comfort zone. I am all for it but what I want to remind you of is that you have to also schedule time to Take Care of the most important person in your life – YOU!  The old folks would classify a busy and much occupied person as one that would walk around like a chicken with their head cut off. Simply put; all over the place – doing any and everything you can get your hands into for the sake of being busy.

Staying busy and occupied used to be very popular among the single women community in an effort to stay preoccupied in creating the life they want and not waiting on the ring or man to have a fulfilled life.  However, now more than ever; women in general are staying busy and occupied. Women are becoming more action oriented and proactively pursuing their purpose and it is coupled with a sense of urgency and aggression.  Keep in mind that in addition to that; women are still taking care of things at the home front whether single or married and/or taking care of the affairs of immediate and sometimes extended family members.

Women are on a move and because we are moving at such a progressive rate; sometimes we forget to  Take Care! We go a million miles a minute and only slow down when we are forced to by way of our bodies telling us enough is enough, it is time to settle on down.

I know this was the case for me. I have been moving at the speed of lightening taking care of the extreme demands of my life, relationships and business and my body told on me so much so until my Doctor placed me on 2 days of bed rest. No, I am not pregnant and the last I heard typically, pregnant women go on bedrest for one reason or another during pregnancy. Needless to say, my Doctor said; be wise and Take Care of you. Wowsers right! That was a rude awakening for me and it doesn’t take me more than once to learn the lesson in something.

How many of you right now feel or are practicing by way of your actions that that you have to build your business, ministry or life in one day, week, month or year? Have you placed such a deadline on your life to whereas it is causing you to have too many sleepless nights or early mornings? Are you constantly caught between spending time with those who are nearest and dear to you and working on a project for your business or ministry? I get it – we are currently in space where work work work is what everyone seems to be talking and most of them doing right now. If you are not up all night working on a project or task then you may get left behind and won’t reach that 6 or 7 figure status that so many are talking about. If you are not working 40+ hours a week outside of your 9-5 and other obligations, then you are already slacking says many.

You have allowed the demands and deadlines of the world become yours. Did you know that your body was meant to rest? In fact, your body heals and restores energy only in a resting state. So if you are not getting the proper rest including sleep; you are doing an extreme disadvantage to your body and to those you serve.  Why? Eventually your body will give up or out on you and you will be forced to rest at time where you should be working.

Listen, one of the best things you can do for you and those you serve whether this is a community or your husband and / or children / family is to Take Care of you. If you are currently in this space and this has been a struggle for you more now than before; I want to share with you 4 Ways you can do this. Nothing deep but simple, profound and action oriented.

Take Care!
C – Categorize your priorities and stick to them. Everything nor is everyone a Priority. You should have list that consist of Priority 1, 2 and 3.

A – Access those who can extend help to you (personally or professionally) and delegate task to them. Stop being a Super Woman with limited Super Power. You are one person – Get Help! This can be leveraging family/friends to take on task or hiring a personal assistant if you are financially able.

R - Remember that Rome wasn’t built in a day nor will your life, ministry or business. I encourage you to take a rest day weekly and commit to it. This should be one of your weekly Priority 1 task.

E – Energy preservation. Don’t give so much of yourself until little to nothing is left. Be around people that will refill you and do things that will refuel and refresh you.

BONUS: Stop competing with yourself and Stop adding things to your already full plate. Say NO – it is a complete sentence. If it does not have anything to do with your purpose; don’t involve yourself with it, in it or around it.

If you have been guilty of not resting and need to get your life on track in categorizing your priorities; our 90 Day Goal Achievement Workbook is exactly what you need. This workbook will help you not only create and categorize your priorities aka goals but will help you to achieve them. Email us at jillandtreal@detourmovement.com to purchase yours today. Include in the subject line: I am ready to Take Care!

P.S. Meet us in Maryland for our 4th Annual Conference. The theme this year is “Love On Top” Click HERE to learn more and register!

Treal Ravenel aka the Wife Coach

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Sunday, April 16, 2017

10 Things You Can Do to Build Your Confidence, Credibility & Courage While You Wait on God's Promises Part II

If you have been following me on Periscope, you know that I have had signs of being perimenopausal with hot flashes and inconsistent menstrual cycles combined with negative pregnancy tests. For some women that may be something to shout about, but for a 35 years young woman, happily married with no kids but who desires kids; that just isn't a good look.

I went to my doctor last year, and he told me to come back with my husband a week later. Interestingly enough on our return visit; he said absolutely nothing. Okay in all fairness, he said: "if you want a baby, you can have a baby."  We both were like what in the H-E double hockey sticks is that?  Why is he saying that?  He suggested a second round of testing and no more info. We were left in the dark similarly to the situation Mary Magdalena found herself in when she rolled up on Jesus' tomb, and the stone was missing.  It was still dark when she arrived so she was literally in the dark and because Mary forgot Jesus' promise that He would die and rose on the third day; figuratively she was in the dark so she started panicking.

For my situation I was so much in the dark, I did not have enough information to even begin to panic.  Have you ever found yourself in a situation like that? Where things did not look good, you did not know what would happen next for you.  It may not be bringing forth a child, it could have been a missed period, and the scare of being unmarried and pregnant, or your son/daughter was supposed to be home or somewhere at a certain time and you had no idea where he/she was, or you got a call that your love one was just in an accident, or you suspect your boyfriend or husband was cheating on you and you saw another woman texting or DMing him; unsure of the details or what exactly what will happen next in any of these scenarios, you wee just left in the dark.

Finally this year, I went for my annual. I told my doctor about my husband, and I desire to get pregnant. He took all the blood test on me and told me to come back in a week. In a week, he told me my hormone levels were low.  He recommends yet another test which I have yet to get the results.

Currently, I find myself at a crossroad, having to decide who's report will I believe.

Will I hold on to the report from my doctor or will I exercise my faith muscle and walk confidently and boldly on what God said? God said my children will rise up and call me blessed. God made several promises to His children it isn't just for me; it is for the Kingdom.  In Exodus 23:26, God said that because we love Him and we serve Him and we worship Him, He will bless our provision; He will take sickness away from us, and we will NOT suffer miscarriage or be barren.  In Job 22:28, He said we will declare a thing, and it would be established! Lastly, He said His word SHALL NOT return to Him void.

Despite the initially panic Mary Magdelena experienced; when Jesus called her by name, by yelling "Mary!"  She knew what time it was. At first she did not recognize His voice but when He called her name; she knew exactly who had called her.  At that moment, I could only imagine she recalled the promise that the Savior who was born of a virgin mother, had to die on the cross and then rose on the third day to fulfill His assignment.

Because of this you and I have to be persuaded that there is absolutely nothing too hard for God. Know that the biggest tool at your disposal is knowing that you serve a God that is capable of doing the impossible! You serve a God who said if you simply ask, it will be given; if you just knock and the door shall be open; if you will seek and you should find. You serve God who says nothing is impossible for those who believe. 

Know that you serve a God who owns everything, so you have access to everything! So the fact reminds to have confidence, you must have FAITH.  You must have faith that He is exactly who He said He is and that you are exactly who He said you are!  Because of your bold faith, you will have favor with God and man.  Because of your faith, you will be courageous enough to ask for the things that you desire and you will receive them.

So the #6 thing You Can Do to Build You Confidence, Credibility and Courage is to increase your FAITH. (click here to read my prior blog from last month with the first five things).

6.) Faith is the best keep secret of having unshakeable confidence!

As I continue the conversation about building confidence and credibility, you have to know that your FAITH is your ability to believe in something whether that is your dream to buy a new house, your vision for a business, baby or a boo; it is so possible, and it will happen for you if you seek after your Father's business.  He promised you that if you seek the Kingdom of God and all of its righteousness ALL things will be added to you.

All you have to do is pray, obey and keep the right people around you. The latter is just as important as the first two things because the people you hang around will ultimately determine your destiny.

7.) You have to establish standards for all your relationships. Yes your relationship with Him but don't forget about your relationship with her. Having standards for what type of women you allow in your inner circle is just as important as having standards for the type of men you allow in your circle. You girlfriends are going to be the ones to either encourage you to pursue you dreams or discourage you by telling you; you are doing too much and wasting your time.  Make a commitment to be around people who faith is at least as big as your if not bigger.  Be around forward thinking, big-minded people and not people who can see beyond the edge of their plate.

When you are waiting for God's Promises to manifest in your life; just don't just sit there and wait for the promise because you don't know when it will manifest.  So don't you dare put your life on hold.  Start pursuing your passion whether that is to write a book, host a charity event, or even adopt a child.  Just go be great! It's your birth right!  So if you want to be a speaker or performer; you have to put in the work.

8.) Don't practice in front of a live audience. You likely heard it a million times before.  Prior Proper Planning Prevents Poor Performance.  Do you think Beyoncé would be where she is, if she waited until the day of or even the night before to start preparing for her performance? I am going to say absolutely not. Take time to prepare yourself for what you have coming up.  Don't allow yourself to be overwhelmed with this and that.  Remember, your life is like a plate, and you have control of what is placed on that plate and what comes off.  Take on less things and do each of them better so you can reach your fullest potential.

9.) Start where you are. No one who "made it to the top" started out that way. Everybody wants to take the elevator to success, but you have to take the stairs like everybody else.  Even when I think about the success, I had as a student-athlete who earned a full athletic scholarship. I started running in the second grade and by seventh grade I was competing on a high school level. I worked out countless hours sometimes twice a day to improve my speed. I ended high school being the 2nd fastest in the state of SC. I would not have achieved that type of success if I had started running in 12th grade.  That was nearly five to ten years of sweat and tears because the truth be told nobody wants to get that close and end in second place. Although I cried, I could not be mad at myself or God because that day, I ran the fastest time of my life so truly I had did my best and at the end of the day that is all you can do, your best. So continue aiming for the stars you may not get all of them, but you are destined to grab at least one.

10.) Get in the room with like-minded people!  Beside your faith, clarity and direction bring about confidence. Having clarity of who you are, where you are, where you are going and how exactly you are going to get there is key for you to thrive into your destiny.

Because community and clarity is so important for you to move in your assignment as a wife or a single woman who desires marriage, is one of the reasons why we are hosting the She's On F.I.R.E. Women Conference June 23-24, 2017 in College Park, Maryland.  This conference is for women who wants clarity and direction on their mission and vision as they wait for their Mr. Right and for those who are married and desire to maintain a healthy life and marriage.  Having a healthy marriage does not start after you get married or once you get married, it starts with knowing who you are and identifying your purpose and assignment here on this Earth.

The conference website is ShesonFIRE2017.com  You can inbox me on Facebook @JillBulluck for more information.

P.S. As part of our annual conference, we are looking to partner with fertility professionals and corporations who sell natural products.  Contact us via our website at detoumovement.org

P.P.S.  Click here to Get Part 1 with the first five things to build your confidence, credibility & courage

Jill Bulluck
Life & Dating Reinvention Strategist 

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Tuesday, April 4, 2017

6 Steps to Building Faith Under Pressure

Two weeks ago this Wednesday, I had the privilege of attending an intensive 2 hour workshop hosted by my good friend Adelai (Addy) Brown, Heart Coach with Be Blessed Daily. During our time together, we went through a series of exercises and activities all focused on trusting our own process.

Prior to signing up for the workshop, God was revealing so much to me regarding Ministry, business and my next move. It was so much at one time to the point that I begin to doubt the process. 

I was looking at all of these great ideas and things that God was giving to me to implement; from hosting workshops to creating coaching programs and so much more and honestly fear started to creep in. Mind you, not only was he giving me the idea but he was giving me intricate details. I found myself asking the questions as to why would God trust me with all of this? Little did I know that I was operating in a place of false humility. I know what God promised me through his word and I know what I have a right to so why would I ask why instead of simply trusting him? 

I realized that it wasn't that I doubted God more so, but I doubted the process. How many of you have been in this place in your life or maybe here right now? You may be on a relationship venture, you may be married, you may be attempting to play full out in your singleness, you may be in transition between starting a business or Ministry or even leaving your full-time employer, or you may simply be in a place where you are trying to tap into that person that God created you to be since the beginning of time. Jeremiah 1:5 says “Before I shaped you in the womb, I knew all about you. 
Before you saw the light of day, I had holy plans for you - A prophet to the nations -that’s what I had in mind for you.”  

You may not have the title “prophet” but you maybe a business owner, ministry leader or Kingdom Builder, Arthur, Speaker, Coach etc. All of those spaces can be vehicles where you are regarded as an inspired teacher or proclaimer of the will of God.  What Jeremiah was showing us is that God knew us before we even knew ourselves. God knew what processes we would have to go through in life in order to reach our next destination, in order to continue on the journey, in order to receive the expected end as it tells us in Jeremiah 29:11. Our life experiences are not foreign to God and God needs us at a place that regardless of what the process looks like, we are committed to building our faith under all the pressure.

Too often we allow things or people in our life to get us off course and these very same things and people can cause us to doubt our own process.  It is not about doing what everyone else is doing because they look like they are successful at doing it. It's not about trying different things to figure out what works for you and what doesn't. Let me tell you something about the process. It is not a trial and error run. When God gives you something, he strategically aligns himself with you. He knows exactly what you need and it can’t be compared to anyone else.

Your journey is so unique in nature to whereas noone has taken the exact same path that you have. Even though you may have experienced some heartache, hurt, pain, betrayal, rejection, abandonment or whatever else. I can guarantee you that no one story is the same as yours. For that reason, you have to trust your own process and be willing to occupy the place that God has just for you. There is a sound so loudly in my ear, now more than ever. I am like what they say, Woke - wide awake to my own process!

I understand that my process is necessary. There is no room for me to doubt. There is no room for me to have fear. There is no room for me to allow distractions to deter me. There is no room for me to follow or copy what everyone else is doing because my process is so different. There is no room for me to play it small.

There is a Giant within each and every one of us and that Giant is waiting patiently to be released but in order for that Giant to be released my sister, you have to get out of your own way and trust the process – Build Faith Under Pressure.

In case you may be struggling on what that may look like for you. I want to leave you with 6 Steps to Building Faith Under Pressure:

1.  Faith Works.  Under Pressure your faith is forced into the open and shows its true colors. Allow your faith to lead you. All you need is a mustard seed of faith, but I will encourage you to be like Abraham and establish great faith to the point that you shall not and will not be moved.

2. Play Full Out.  Don't try to get out of anything prematurely because you will only cause more harm than good. It is the way it is for a reason. It's taking the time that it is taking for a reason. Be okay with that. Be careful in trying to size your process up with someone else's process.  The shoe will never fit.

3.  Feed your Faith.  Allow that same Faith to do its work so that you become more mature, well developed and not deficient in any way. Don't allow your impatience, your discouragement, fear or doubt create deformities in your expected end.

4.  Ask for Guidance. If you don't know what you're doing or if you need more clarity and guidance, pray to the Father. God loves you so very much and he's waiting for you to realize how much you need him. He is standing waiting for you to place your petitions before.

5. Pray with the right intentions. Do not doubt or worry about anything. Don't be moved and don't be double-minded. The word of God tells us in James that a double-minded man is unstable in all of his ways, he shall receive nothing from the Lord. Read James Chapter 1 as encouragement for you to keep Building your Faith Under Pressure.

6. Do not allow the benefits or prosperity in itself to be the end goal. I can tell you that the benefits or prosperity can be temporal and fade away. In order to manage the benefits God has given you to manage, you will need to trust God and remain content. I like to look at my brother in Christ the Apostle Paul when he says in the book of Philippians “I know what it is to have much and I know what it is to have nothing that at all but in every situation I find myself; I know how to be content.” 

The book of Philippians is another great read in Building Faith Under Pressure.

I pray that these six tips help you to continue Building your Faith Under Pressure. John 16: 33 remind us that in this life we will have pressure, but be assured that God has already overcome the world. I say this to you my dear sister; be encouraged and implement the six steps as much as needed in your own process.  

If you enjoyed this blog and it resonated with you but you need more; we would love to schedule a FREE 1 on 1 coaching session with you.  You may feel like you need to go a little deeper in this conversation and we are certainly here for it. Click HERE to schedule your FREE 1-on-1 session with us today.

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Treal Ravenel
Wife Coach

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