Thursday, July 11, 2013

Free Yourself: Say No to Domestic Violence!!!!


Free Yourself:  Refuse to be a Victim!!!
Definition: Domestic abuse, also known as spousal abuse, occurs when one person in an intimate relationship or marriage tries to dominate and control the other person. Domestic abuse that includes physical violence is called domestic violence.
Domestic violence and abuse are used for one purpose and one purpose only: to gain and maintain total control over you. An abuser doesn’t “play fair.” Abusers use fear, guilt, shame, and intimidation to wear you down and keep you under his or her thumb. Your abuser may also threaten you, hurt you, or hurt those around you.
Lately, we have been hearing and seeing numerous reports of Domestic Violence against women and many of these incidents/reports have resulted in death.  South Carolina (the state in which I reside) is currently ranked as the Number 2 State of Domestic Violence.  Louisiana is number 1.

As once having live through a period of Domestic Violence; I know that this subject matter is serious enough to blog about to bring awareness and to provide a way of escape for someone that maybe going through this.  

Domestic Violence is real and we cannot take it lightly.  Many of these incidents result from one or both partners being insecure or unsure of who they are.  Some occur because of past abuse that they have experienced; perhaps during their childhood or young adulthood.  

The abuser has attempted to suppress the memories, ignore that it ever happened or believe that they are cured/healed until something happens.  A trigger of some sort puts them back in remembrance of their past life and causes them to react on their partner.  

Individuals are not born violent; however, they are born into violent situations/households or environments and a violent nature is created as a result of their exposure.  It is never okay for a man to hit a woman or vice versa.  This is simply NOT ok and one time is too many.  Abusers always show signs/symptoms that they are abusive.  

The following are just some signs/symptoms of someone that maybe an abuser and need to be taken seriously: 
  • Extreme anger issues (angers very easily). For example:  if you are stretching and accidently hit them; they go off in a uncontrolled manner, controlling behavior (trying to control your every move or decision – telling you what to wear, where you can or cannot go etc)
  • Over possessive (does not give you any breathing room and always think you are doing something behind their back – you can’t see your family without him/her knowing etc)
  • Jealousy (every time you look at or talk to the opposite sex they are filled with rage) and the list goes on.
  • The most telling sign is fear of your partner. If you feel like you have to walk on eggshells around your partner—constantly watching what you say and do in order to avoid a blow-up—chances are your relationship is unhealthy and abusive. 
  • Other signs that you may be in an abusive relationship include a partner who belittles you or tries to control you, and feelings of self-loathing, helplessness, and desperation.”
Please Seek Help immediately!  There are many shelters available if you are unable to go to family that will help you escape if the justice system has failed you. Escape Plan for Domestic Violence Victims:http://www.thehotline.org/get-help/safety-planning/

Healthy relationships just don’t happen; they are intentionally created!  The relationship you have with God and yourself  is a direct reflection on the relationship you have with others.  You can’t learn how to love someone if you have not mastered on loving the one that created you and then yourself FIRST.  This includes your dating relationship, marriage relationship and friendships as well. 

When you have a great understanding of who you are and your value/worth; anything or anyone that does not contribute to that in a positive manner; you keep free and clear out of your life! 

All too often women and men deal with insecurities, past issues, hurt, past experiences/poor relationships (past or current)etc; and they allow those things to have a negative impact on their life and future decision making. And all too often poor relationships are formed and continued based on past behavior and experiences. Some feel they aren’t worthy of better so they continue to look or accept what is familiar regardless if it is bad or not. 

Once you understand, identify and accept who you are; you will understand,  identify and accept who you are not so when you seek relationships/marriage; you will have a clear understanding of what a healthy life/future looks like to avoid all manner of Domestic Violence.  You and your children’s safety is your Number 1 Priority!!!

If you are someone you know is involved in any kind of Domestic Violence: Please share this blog with them.  Below, I have provided several links: One is an escape plan for the individual being abused (victim) and children if involved and the other is for Safety House/locations.  Click on the link and enter your state and select Local Programs or Statewide Programs to get the information for the shelter.  If you need further assistance, guidance or merely support; please contact us by emailing abstaining4jesus@gmail.com.  We are here to serve and support you in whatever way we can.  


Safety House for Domestic Violence/Abuse Victims:
South Carolina
http://www.womenslaw.org/gethelp_state_type.php?type_id=1618&state_code=SC

North Carolina
http://www.womenslaw.org/gethelp_state_type.php?type_id=1668&state_code=VA

Maryland
http://www.womenslaw.org/gethelp_state_type.php?type_id=1356&state_code=MD

Virginia
http://www.womenslaw.org/gethelp_state_type.php?type_id=1668&state_code=VA 

District of Columbia
http://www.womenslaw.org/gethelp_state_type.php?type_id=1243&state_code=DC

All other states: 
Go to http://www.womenslaw.org/index.php then click "where to I find help" self the type hotline or safety house.


Read more…

Monday, July 8, 2013

Breakups-jealousy-Insecurities OH MY!

This video is in response to a question about when a guy ask to take a break, does that mean it is over?  Also she wanted to know if it was wrong to be jealous.  Great info! Check it out! Don't forget to subscribe to our Youtube Channel, hit the like button and write a comment!  Then subscribe to our newsletter and receive a free 30 minute MP3 download on mate selection and making the right choice!

Read more…