Friday, August 16, 2013

Dating a Married Man, Will He leave His Wife?

No! Why?…because He’s Taken. Well Duh!!!!

Warning, Warning, Warning: If you or someone you know is currently involved with a married man or involved man; this is for you! I want to warn you that falling for a married or someone that is involved with another female (girlfriend, exclusively dating, engaged etc) will only leave you with unexplainable hurt, pain, distress and total embarrassment.

Unfortunately, many women find themselves in this situation and I am going to boldly state this is not a position women choose to be in for the most part.  I found myself in this situation – I was considered the main girl because I was married to the cheater.  My ex-husband chose to have multiple relationships outside of our marriage. Of course this was not a situation I wanted to be in but because of all the lies and me not wanting to believe the lies; I stayed in this unhealthy and ungodly relationship.  These types of relationships are built and maintained on LIES. The lies begin with the guy’s current relationship status. For instance, you may ask him if he is married, have a girlfriend or seeing someone, and here comes the hesitation, well, not really, OR we are not together anymore (granted they broke up last week) OR she has my kids and I am only there for the kids OR we have some affairs together but we aren’t really together OR the lease isn’t up on the apartment, the house is in both of our names blah blah blah blah. If they don’t lie altogether about having someone currently in their life; they will probably say something like “I am leaving her but need more time” OR “we have a sick child together and I have to sleep over to her house at least 3-4 days a week” etc etc.  


In some cases; the guy will try to make himself look like the victim in saying what their wife or partner isn’t doing for them and how much they are not appreciated; how much they give, give, give, yet receive nothing in return; how things don’t feel the same like ole times however they have a family and “are trying to work things out”.  I believe this is the all time favorite and most popular – “She has changed since we got married.  She is not the same person anymore.” The list is Endless! These are called the “Self-Created Lies” Although there may be a hint of truth to some of what they are saying; it basically boils down to those wanting what they want and finding someone vulnerable and desperate enough to allow them to have it.

Just think about how much you forfeit in accepting this type of relationship. Your self -worth, dignity and respect; not to mention wasted time and effort poured into something that will NEVER result in a positive gain. You are missing out on your Mr. Right; and ultimately your future when you accept this lifestyle.

Newsflash:

At the end of the day; he is going back to his wife, baby mama, long term girlfriend etc. If in fact he does end up leaving his wife/partner for you; he cannot be trusted in a committed relationship because DUH he cheated with his wife/partner for you.

Remember: Behavior practiced is often behavior repeated! Don't believe the hype!! Your Mr. Right is worth the wait.

Let this Resonate for a moment: You can’t build a foundation on rocky ground; it will eventually fall. Just think about this. Guess where he will be on Valentine’s, Mother’s Day, Christmas etc.???? DUH, with his family, his girlfriend, his baby mama! All of a sudden; the time he may have had in the beginning he doesn’t anymore. At this point; you’re so far in, your vision is clouded behind the “relationship” you built on that shaky foundation. Can I tell you something? You are wasting your time; trust and believe me. When it is all said and done; he is returning back home. He almost always does. Regardless of how many fall outs, breakups, arguments/disagreements him and his girl has; he will return home and more often than not – she accepts him back. He will only go back and forth as long as the women allow him. Don’t be victim to a hopeless and life threatening situation. I don't care what this guy is doing for you. I don't care if he's paying your bills; if he babysits your children; if the sex is good or whatever the reason; nothing is worth your self-worth: nothing is worth you lowering your standards and certainly nothing is worth you allowing a man to treat you any less than how God desires you to be treated. 
God is your source and he will make provisions for you; He promised that - Trust Him to do what He promised. Don't find yourself in this situation for the sake of having a man or for the sake of having someone to lie next to at night or for the sake of having someone pay your mortgage or your rent every month; you are so much better than that. You are not someone’s sleep buddy (your body is a temple and belong to God). In many cases that I have seen; these types of relationships start off as all fun and games. You say “I don’t want a relationship; I just want his money”. Well, that doesn’t last long because your feelings and emotions grow - something beyond your control.
If your desire is to have a husband; wait on God. He will give you the desires of your heart; He will bless you abundantly, but He can’t while you are still trapped and wrapped up in the arms of another man. Your husband can’t find you while you are still caught up in a hopeless situation. You want a relationship that brings fulfillment; not confusion and chaos. With that being said; you have a Right Now decision to make if this is you and that decision is to DETOUR!!!!

~Treal

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