Friday, November 29, 2013

TEN REASONS Why A Man Would Wife You!


We wanted to provide the TEN REASONS “Why A Man Would Wife You” based on the Monthly LIVE DISCUSSION we did for the month of November.  We decided to talk about this subject in particular because many women desire to be married and have found them settling just to get a ring.   Below are  “TEN REASONS”  we came up with as to why a man would make you his wife.  If you or someone you know can relate to this; then this is for you.  Please be sure to share these reasons with the women in your circle who can relate!

1     1.  Your attitude:  Are you happy and bubbly or bitter?  Bitter looks like complaining, comparing, and competing…  Choose to have a positive attitude even in the midst of a challenge or adversity!

2.  Your values: What do you stand for? What do you believe in?  Does anything go in any setting?  Are you a certain way in front of one group of people and then another way in front of another group of people?  Keep your values in being who you say you are in private and in public.

3.  Your confidence:  Do you like yourself?  Confidence refers to your physical appearance and more importantly your self-esteem.  Are you able to be yourself or do you hold back in fear that if he finds out who you really are, he won’t like you?  Most people prefer authenticity! If you are not comfortable with who you are then start working on how you would like to show up in the world. Write out your ideal self.  What type of things would you be doing, what type of things would you be saying or not saying and start being and doing what your ideal self would do.

4.  Your ability to control your emotions – Stop becoming emotionally hi-jacked (extremely emotional) over every little thing.  Practice being in control of your emotions regardless of your environment.  Don’t let any and everything get you in a place of discontentment or feeling discombobulated.

5.  Your ability to respect and honor him – this goes in a private and public setting.  Don’t challenge or rebut against him because you are right or you think you are right.  Don’t question or challenge his ability to be a man and make decisions.  This is an extreme turn off for a man and he will end a relationship on this alone.

6.  Your communication -what does your conversation sound like?  Do you ask questions to get to know who he really is or are you interested in how much money he makes and what he can do for you?   
Side Note:  Guys cannot stand when a women talks about work all the time or about things that are not going right in her life (negative/pessimistic talk).  Guys are not controversial; they hate drama and negativity especially from the women they are dating or married to.  Also; guys despise women with a gossiping tongue- so don’t do it!

7.  Jealous and insecurity are two of the greatest attraction killers.  If this is something you struggle with; ask God to help you overcome the spirit of jealousy and insecurity.  Oftentimes due to past relationships or life circumstances; women struggle in this area.  When you have an inability to trust your mate that greatly affects the relationship as a whole. 
Side Note:  In order to be secure and satisfied in a relationship; you first have to be secure and satisfied in your singleness.

8.  Your ability to spend time apart from him without having an anxiety attack.  It is ok to have “me” time or girl time away from your mate.  Everything you do does not have to revolve around him.

9.  Have a fulfilled life outside of the relationship.  A man wants to know that you can stand on your own two feet without him having to hold you up ALL the time.  Get a life and healthy hobbies outside of him.

10.  Your Money Management.  Are you a wasteful spender? Do you spend money you don’t have in order to keep up with the latest and greatest?  Believe it or not; even if a man does not do well in this area, he does not want a women who is wasteful in her spending.  This shows that she lacks discipline and self-control in the areas of spending and it normally holds true to other areas of her life.  Financial management says not only will you have plenty stored up for a rainy day, but you will not exhaust your income for the sake of status or because you spend on impulse. Being able to effectively manage your finances is one of the characteristics of a Proverbs 31 Women!

Stay Fabulous & Phenomenal,

Jill Bulluck






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Monday, November 18, 2013

The Champion Within!!! Jeremiah 29:11

Jeremiah 29: 11 “For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the Lord, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.”

This is Treal from Detour Movement and I wanted to share a story with you about something that occurred in my life this past week.  I will entitle this "The Champion Within"  As many of you know, I have a 16 year old son who I absolutely adore (to the left is a picture of him when he was about 10months old).

Well, my son has been heavily involved in basketball since middle school.  He is extremely passionate about the game and is a diligent and consistent player.  So much so until he practices outside of regular practice 3-5 days a week for a minimum of 3-4 hours at a time.  He keeps a basketball in the trunk of my car, so every time we are somewhere for an extended period of time; he gets the ball out of the trunk and practice dripping, air balls, ball handling etc.  So as you can see; he is very serious about improving his skills and the game.

Well, it was a shocker when we found out that he was cut from the varsity basketball team with his local High School.  I immediately reacted with questioning the reasons why and how in knowing how hard he has worked over the years and of how great of a player he has become.  Of course he was sad, disappointed and a bit confused as he thought for sure that after being cut from the final cuts last season and playing summer ball with the school that he was sure to make the team.  After going through my series of questions and feeling deeply discouraged; I re-positioned my thoughts, my feelings and my speech and was able to verbalize beyond my emotions in telling my son that God has something Greater in store for him. 

I begin to encourage him to continue to trust in God, have faith and work hard in improving his skills and abilities as other doors will soon open for him.  I even used Michael Jordan’s story as an example to encourage him that although he was cut from this team and this season to not lose hope.  My son was comforted in the process and gained the strength, encouragement and fortitude to reach down and find his "Champion Within".....


You know many times we view adversity, bad news or a door closing as something bad, but that isn't always the case.  God may delay certain things in our life or outright deny them, but instead of looking at it as if we have missed out; we can look at it as if God is preparing us for something Greater.  A missed opportunity in this case allows other and much better opportunities to present themselves in God's time.  

I would like to leave with you Three Tips on how to find your "Champion Within" in the midst of Rejection & Adversity:

·  Rejection in some cases can mean that God is Protecting us from something!   We never know what God has planned for our lives. In the story above; what if God has other plans for my son whereas he needs him to stay focused and basketball during this season would be a distraction. 

· See the Good in a situation that looks all bad!  We can only see what is in front of us.  Allow God to open your spiritual eyes to see what he sees regarding your life and future.

· Be encouraged that God will not disappoint you!  God knows your heart and desires.  He understands that you have a plan for your life.  Trust God enough to know that his plan is 100% guaranteed to work.

I challenge you on today to reach deep down and find the Champion Within!

~Treal

(throwback picture from 10/2008)

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Sunday, November 3, 2013

When God Says No! How to Bounce Back From Disappointment



This year, I lost one of the most influential women in my life!  This woman was not my birth mother but she cared for me and my success like any mother would.  She went out of her way to make sure my educational needs were met and that every Christmas my sisters and I did not lack for anything, providing us the latest Nintendo, Sega Genesis  or The Game Show!  This lady prayed earnestly for my mother when my mother almost lost her life!  The woman I am talking about is my Aunt Morteil Williams, my mother’s baby sister.
About a year ago we learned she had Leukemia.  Everyone was devastated!  Aunt Morteil! Cancer? See, our family had been very fortunate because cancer had been a true rarity in our family and living beyond 90 years old had become the norm.

At the diagnosis, everything seemed fine.  She took oral Chemotherapy and she still taught everyday in the inner city schools in Southeast DC (one of the toughest districts & school systems in America,  located in Washington DC)

In November 2012, she was omitted to the hospital.  I went to see her at George Washington Hospital (the same place my mom studied as a nurse in college over 50 years ago).  My aunt's health had taken a turn for the worst and she was losing her battle against cancer.  The doctors gave her weeks to live.  She was released from the hospital.  I stayed with her to help administer her medicine.  Her health kept declining.  We decided to take her to John Hopkins Hospital, one of the nation's leaders in cancer research and treatment.

At that point, I didn’t think my Aunt would make it another week. My aunt told the nurses and doctors to do whatever they can, understanding that aggressive Chemo at her age came with a health risk.  The goal was to get the cancer in remission.   

After a few rounds of Chemo, she started looking better and feeling better but the doctors said that the cancer was out of control and our goal of remission was not obtained.  Soon my aunt was released from the hospital in within a few months she was on hospice care.

We had been praying all the time for my aunt’s healing.  During our March 21 Day Fast & Consecration we prayed for her nearly every day and she would call from her hospital bed to join the call.

I prayed publicly and privately, I fasted and I had other people pray for her.  At one point, my mom started saying, Aunt Mortiel was going to die. But I did not want to accept that, I could not accept.  How can aunt Mortiel die?  She is only 71 years old.  Her mom from the Young’s family line is still living and she is over 90 years old. Aunt Mortiel helped and encouraged everybody, she had a big heart, NO IT CAN’T BE!  The young’s don’t die young.  The Young’s don’t give up on God.  The Young’s keep the faith.  

At some point, I even got on my mom for giving up on God and having a lack of faith but she hadn’t given up on God nor did she lack faith.  She just understood and had accepted that God had said NO!

Well, on May 16th 2013, my mom called me at 5:30AM to report that Aunt Mortiel had went to be with her Heavely father.  

I had just ended a 36 hours fast for Aunt Mortiel’s healing and I was thinking, how could God disappoint me like this?

After all that praying, fasting, reciting healing scriptures about the woman with the issue of blood, God making the blind see, etc and Aunt Mortiel died? I truly felt like God had let me down and I was not sure where to turn.  I talked to my aunt Elanora and she told me God had said no.  But ensured me that Aunt Mortiel had accepted God’s will and was at peace with leaving this Earth. Aunt Elanora said, we just have to let God’s will be done and continue to pray for strength to get through it.

I don’t think I am the only one who has felt disappointed by God.  So if you or anyone you know has been told NO by God.  I encourage you to read the below tips and SHARE this blog.

Here are three tips to how you can manage your emotions and maintain trust in God, when he says NO!

1.) Understand God’s perfect plan for your life “For I know the thoughts that I think toward you, says the Lord, thoughts of peace and not of evil, to give you a future and a hope. Then you will call upon Me and go and pray to me, I will listen to you” Jeremiah 29:11

2.) Pray for acceptance of God’s will even if it is not your will.  When God gave the first instructions for prayer, it was the “All Father Prayer” within that prayer God taught us to prayer “Let your WILL be done, on Earth as it is in Heaven”.  Many of us have recited this prayer thousands of time over ago.  But do we belief it? Do we live it?  Do we let the WILL of God reign in our lives or do we run with our own agenda and push God’s will to the side.  

See, prayer cannot change what God has destined to happen.  When we pray, we should not pray for this or not, but we should make our request known to God and then pray that God gives us the strength to handle whatever is within his WILL. See, what we pray for may not be the will of God.


If it is not the will of God, our prayer cannot change that.  But it can help us to get through whatever situation, or circumstance that comes our way.


3.) Understand it may not be "NO", maybe it is "not right now"! Pray for patience. Remember “Be anxious for nothing, but in everything by prayer and supplication,  let your REQUEST be known to God! and the peace of God, which surpasses all understanding, will guard your hearts and minds through Christ Jesus. Philippians 4:6-7  Also check out Charles Stanley's five minute video on “How can I wait patiently on the Lord?” http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LuEFdtIv4lo  
Also T.D. Jakes shares in a sermon more wisdom about how to respond when God’s says no! http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ULFVD-PI6Yg

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Love Your Sis!

Jill

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