Thursday, August 21, 2014

Triumph in the Midst of Adversity: Video Series 4 of 4!

So we have shared a few personal stories of how Treal and I triumphed in the midst of adversity.  We shared our personal experiences to let you know, no matter what you are going through, this too shall past.  

Sometimes it seems like when it rains, it pours and that the devil is hitting you from all sides.

But what I know to be true is that "this is not [a wrestling] against flesh and blood, but against principalities, against powers, against the rulers of the darkness of this age, against spiritual hosts of wickedness in the heavenly places. Therefore take up the whole armor of God,that you may be able to withstand in the evil day, and having done all, to stand.
 
Stand therefore, having girded your waist with truth, having put on the breastplate of righteousness,  and having shod your feet with the preparation of the gospel of peace; above all, taking the shield of faith with which you will be able to quench all the fiery darts of the wicked one.  And take the helmet of salvation, and the sword of the Spirit, which is the word of God; praying always with all prayer and supplication in the Spirit, being watchful to this end with all perseverance and supplication for all the saints"—Ephesians 6:11-18.  

Know there is absolutely nothing too hard for God.  Stand on His promise!

Just as God equipped Treal with the whole armor of God, He will equip you!  Just as God carried Treal through adversity in her life, He will do the same for you!

Treal experienced abuse, hurt, financial turmoil, single-motherhood and so much more. She was laid off in her career over and over again but yet she refused to fail or to give up, she choose to triumph!  She took specific actions which she outlines in her book to overcome and be triumphant and you can too!  Pre-order your book today and we will send you a copy of a bonus report to your inbox immediately so you can start on your journey to be triumphant!  Below are the topic and links to the previous videos.



Love your sister in Christ,


Get your book! 




Jill of Jill and Treal




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Monday, August 18, 2014

How to Overcome Divorce? | I Can't Believe It's Over! Video 3 of 4

Going through any type of separation or relationship break up is quite devastating and definitely life changing for all those involved.  I remember when I thought that I was a failure because my first marriage failed.  I felt that because it didn’t work out the way I planned it; that I failed.  Getting married again or even falling in love was not at the top of my agenda as the enemy made me feel that I was insufficient; fell short and was not capable of achieving the desired end result which was a happy, healthy and successful marriage.  All of me did not believe that my Mr. Right existed or was even still available as I failed at my one and only opportunity. 
I did not understand that God was a God of second chances, third, fourth and fifth.  The reason all this was oblivious to me is because I did things my way and not God’s way, so I obtained my results not God’s results. Anytime we do things outside the will of God; He will not bless or honor it! 
Even after God released me from this marriage; there were things that I still had to deal with emotionally, mentally, physically and spiritual.  I needed to be restored and to be quite honest; I wasn’t sure how to do just that.  Naturally, I begin to think about how I was going to recover from this.  I mean, I was in this relationship for over a decade and I depended heavily on my ex to be the sole financial provider for the home.  I took a back seat in that department and allowed him to “take care of things”. I didn’t realize it at that time, but I handicapped myself in many areas of my life which caused major setbacks later on, but once it was over; I had to accept my life for what it was. 
Although, I was not thrilled about being single again – this was my new reality and I accepted it.  You may be asking how?  

#1 - I stopped blaming myself for everything that went wrong in the relationship and for the divorce!
 #2 – I realized that this was not my end, but only my beginning and was determined to pick up the pieces of my life and Triumph through it!
Here are 6 Tips that helped me along the way and kept me together Spiritually, Mentally, Physically and Emotionally and can do the same for you:
1.      Wife (You): I sought after support from my close friends and family to help me cope with my life after divorce. I needed them to help keep me active and focused on me and my son.  I focused on my Spiritual growth and oneness with myself and I had to get used to being with self again and learn to enjoy it.

2.      Children: I had to keep it together for my son. Although he was only a toddler at the time; I had to protect him from the effects of a separation/divorce.  Typically after a divorce all hell breaks loose with the wife/children. Children typically tend to act out because they are unable or unwilling to accept and cope with the fact that dad is gone. 
a.       Here are some strategies you can implement if children are involved: 

·   Assure the child (ren) that everything is going to be ok and that the separation/divorce was not their fault.

·   Encourage the child (ren) that as their mother, you will do everything in your power to protect and cover them and provide for their needs.

·   Let them know that things will be different, but that does not change your love for them.

3.      Family Outings: In my case; my ex did not frequently interact or engage in family outings, but if this was the case for you; you will have to get use to attending family outings without your ex. 

a.       Here are some strategies for facing the family:

·   Make no apologies for what happened, and ensure your family knows that you have accepted your new reality as a single woman/mother and you desire their love and support through this process. 

·   This is not the time for "I told you so" from the family as you will need them to embrace you and help you to move past this.

·   Tell them that they can help by simply being there.

4.      Finances:  Like me, you will more than likely go through the “I can't financially survive without him” at some point. Remember, this is your new reality; so you can and you will!

a.       Here are some strategies for facing financial adversity due to separation/divorce.

·   Create a budget if you have not done so prior and seek financial guidance if needed to help reevaluate your debt to income portfolio to see what changes need to occur.

·   You may have to downsize and live a lifestyle that maybe different or awkward.  I know I had to, big time but it is ok.  You will regain what you lost soon enough and have an opportunity to live even better but for now – this is your new reality so changes are needed!

5.      Chores/Housework: For those children that are of age, involve them more in household chores and if you have a male child, explain to him that it is not his responsibility to take over the male parent role, but all children will do a little more to help mom with chores/housework and added responsibility (for example: older siblings driving younger siblings to school, appointments etc).

6.      Healing Process:  You will have to forgive your ex and when your children see that you are willing and able to forgive; they will follow suit.  In addition, eventually they will accept the new life without dad being in the house because you have and your life will be evident of this. Once your healing and restoration process takes place; you will exude a woman who is happy, free in God, whole and complete.  You will now be at a place where your life is on a new path and in due season (God’s timing) and if it is your desire; He will prepare you for a happy, healthy and successful marriage the second time around but for now EMBRACE your current season!

Learn to Triumph in the Midst of Your Adversity
The devil is defeated and you have the victory.  You are an overcomer, you can Triumph! There is no nothing stopping you from being Victorious!  Oftentimes, when you hear of someone who experienced the same thing as you and they overcame; it is all the inspiration you need to take the next step and experience that in your life too! 

P.S. Be sure to leave a comment and share your experience or take away from this blog.  Also if you have not already be sure to download your free report at rollingwiththepunchesbook.com.
~Treal of Jill and Treal


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Thursday, August 14, 2014

My Brokenness Did Not Break Me! Video Series 2 of 4




At some point or another you experienced some form of brokenness.  This could have been from a relationship with a guy, disappointment with your parents or a friend etc.  When you are closely attached to someone and for whatever reason that relationship dissolves especially against your will, it can leave you feeling worthless, robbed, unhappy and discouraged.  You may even feel that it was your fault and blame yourself for the outcome of the relationship.

In Treal’s book: “Rolling with the Punches! Learning to Triumph in the midst of Adversity” she shared the time she experienced brokenness after a relationship she thought would never end.  She wanted to be with this guy for her own selfish reasons (including doing what was pleasing to God in avoiding a sexual immoral relationship).  Being that she already experienced a divorce; she was determined to make this relationship work but when it didn’t, it left her feeling hopeless, helpless and a sense of failure. When you experience a lost equivalent to this, it is comparable to a death because you experience a form of grief for something that was near and dear to you but no longer.  Treal experienced that grief!
Check out an encouraging video!




Although she experienced a heartbreak and brokenness, she refused to let her circumstance keep her in that state and she refused to be a victim of her situation.  In fact, she was determined to be victorious!  

Treal knew that she could not live her life in fear, bitterness and sadness, so she made a decision to turn to God to heal her brokenness.  She knew if she turned to God that her fear would turn into faith. She knew that if she turned to God her bitterness would turn to gladness.  She knew if she turned to God that her sadness would turn to happiness.  

So what did she do?   She turned to God and she did not look back!  

She prayed daily and sometimes by the hour and whenever she felt the enemy attacking her mentally, emotionally or spiritually.  She knew that even if her flesh wanted to do everything else but pray; her life depended on it and she was intentional about keeping her prayer life active, no matter what!  If she was at work she would go into the bathroom, if she was in her car, she would pray in her car – it didn’t matter.  Don’t you limit God!  God can show up and show out anytime and anywhere, all you have to do is call on the precious name of Jesus, Mary’s baby, the Lillie of the Valley and the Bright and Morning Star!  Know that the enemy comes to steal, kill and destroy but God came that you may have life and to have it more abundantly.  The devil is defeated and you have the victory.  You are an overcomer, you can Triumph! 
 
There is no nothing stopping you from being Victorious!  Oftentimes, when you hear of someone who experienced the same thing as you and they overcame; it is all the inspiration you need to take the next step and experience that in your life too!  Check out this inspirational video from Treal!

Go grab your free report to learn more at rollingwiththepunchesbook.com
Jill of Jill and Treal

Love your sister in Christ,


Jill

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Woman Love thyself! How to Accept Yourself? Video 1 of 4




Halle Barry and Beyoncé is what often come to mind when you think of beautiful successful woman.  Beauty, success and worthiness are the lies that are often said as to how you are defined as a woman.  I am not sure who or where exactly this rumor stemmed from, but somehow other people's personality, appearance, and communication has been pressed throughout the world and cause you to seek to desire to be a clone of someone else rather than embracing your own individuality.  

See I struggled with this myself.  I felt like if I was too goofy or silly that people would think I was immature.  When I often said something to other people, they would get offended; however, my verbal expressions were never intended to offend anyone. But rather than learning to express my authentic feelings to others in a more receptive way, I opt not say anything because I did not how to express myself verbally without offending others.   I voluntarily raised my hands and made a subconscious decision that it was more important for me to accommodate others and guard their feelings than it was for me to accommodate and love myself and guard my own feelings.  It seemed like this decision was made overnight but it took years for me to reverse this state of mind and being. 

·         Put a stake in the ground and refused to conform to what other people wanted me to be.  

·         Refused to let society put me in a box of how I should look, speak or behave.

·         Refused to deny being true to myself over making other’s feel more comfortable around
           me.

·         Decided that being true to who I was and accepting and loving myself was so much more important than pretending to be someone I was not or just as bad as holding back who I was  due to fear that the other person would not accept me. 

Besides making these bold decisions, I also did 4 things that I will share with you and if you want to love and accept yourself for who you truly are, I challenge you to do the same thing.

1.)    Dispel the lies of your past!

The world will try to define you by your size, your height, you speech or whatever but you do not have to be or embrace what others have said about you.  Take what they said and make the opposite true.  For example when I was younger, I was often teased about my nose.  So much so I wanted to have surgery as soon as I became an adult.  But after a while I realized I never had a problem with my nose, it was other people who had a problem with my nose.  So I decided to embrace it after all, it was just as God had created me to be.

2.)    Write down all your positive attributes!

Take the negativity that others have said about you and what you have said about you and make the opposite true. So rather than replaying the negativity in my head, I would say I have a beautiful nose.  My nose is just like my dad’s nose and I love it! And when I see my nose I am reminded of my dad.

3.)    Declare who you are by God’s standard not the world standards!

God says you fearfully and wonderfully made in His image.  God said I know the thoughts I think toward you - thoughts to prosper you and not to harm you, to give you a hope for your future.

4.)    Take care!  Drink lots of water, reduce the sugar and bad carbohydrates (bread, pasta & soda), exercise, mediate, never stop learning and developing!

Indulge consistently in being your best self!  No I am not telling you to change yourself or to be someone you are not!  There is a different between growing and become more into your authentic self and changing or conforming to be someone you are not.  It is called evolving!

Take a stand and refuse to be stuck!  Take a stand, to commit to overcoming all the pain, hurt of your past, and the unforgiveness you carry in your heart and go grab your free copy of How to Triumph in the Mist of Adversity!

We love you so much! God loves you best, be blessed! 

~Jill of Jill and Treal 

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