Saturday, October 10, 2015

How do Christians have fun? (Quality Time with God)

What an Amazing week my husband and I spent in Cancun celebrating our 3rd year Anniversary and my birthday on a few weeks ago.  It felt great to get away from the demands of life and be able to spend quality time with each other.  Life and Business can get in the way of that so these getaways mean everything.  We stayed at an incredible resort and our trip was all inclusive so that means all food and all beverages were included and accessible mostly all day and night.  I know many of you have taken all-inclusive trips so you know exactly how that works and how you can easily get sucked into the atmosphere around you.  In particular, I am referencing spirits aka alcoholic beverages that are at your disposal every way you turn. God delivered me from the use of alcohol and I am grateful for that.  It was necessary in my case! I didn’t want a decision to have “fun” destroy my witness. The ambiance and view of the beach was absolutely amazing and because we stayed at one of the all adult resorts, nudity or topless at best was encouraged and several of the women took full advantage of their tatas being on display all day.
   
 dinner cruise hubby and I went on and our meal.  It was delicious!

While the resort offered loads of amenities and opportunities, as a believer; I had to stick to my daily spiritual practices.  Even on my vacation, I had to be intentional about representing who I profess and confess to serve.  Yes, I was around a lot of people who I may never ever see me again but I didn’t allow that to become an excuse for getting turnt up the world’s way.  While I took a break from life demands, I didn’t however didn’t take a break from God.  I know when some believers go on vacation, everything stops including them getting up to pray, reading and studying their word and devotion time etc.  I have seen where those who profess Christ act completely different when people they know aren’t around to witness.  To be honest, that is hypocritical and I can speak to it because I was once there.  Me personally, I can’t afford to take a break when it comes to my God relationship and building the Kingdom.  So instead of indulging in alcohol all day; I made better use of my time.   

I even met some believers who were devout Christians who participated in activities I stayed clear of.  They felt that because they were on vacation, they were going to do what they pleased because they paid to do just that.  But my thing is when does compromising your walk with God and discrediting your witness become fun?  I get it; my nose isn’t turned up and I am intentional about not judging others but why do some believers feel that it’s ok to engage in certain things because no one is watching? I can answer that question also because that was me at some point in my walk.  I was saved to the core but still indulged in activities and behaviors that would have made others question my walk; commit sin or completely turn away from God.  I ignored my accountability partners and did things my own way.  That week in Cancun ignited me to love and live for God even the more.  See, partying and drinking isn’t my definition of fun and I don’t at all miss it at all.  There is no spiritual benefit to that type of life but only flesh gratification. The life I have chosen comes with much sacrifice because I chose obedience and out of obedience, a lot of times I am cast out even by church folks aka carnal Christians. 


downtown Cancun.  It is so beautiful there.

What I found to be true on my journey is when you really make up in your mind to be completely sold out for Jesus; you will become a lone ranger.  Even family and friends will shun you because of your choice.  This is an example of the sacrifice the bible speaks about as a believer.  I made a conscious decision to live for God all the way and for me there wasn’t a point of compromising or turning back. I don’t apologize for being who I am in Christ and I certainly want ask for permission even if it means losing those I love.  I chose righteousness over religion and God over being good.  There were lots of things and people I had to let go and it wasn’t easy.  Even  on vacation; I could’ve engaged into somethings that weren’t necessarily a sin but could have definitely destroy or tarnish my witness.  The only way I am able to stay grounded is by making a choice every day to follow Christ and for my flesh to die. 

our cruise departed and roamed these waters....it was a magnificent night

As for me, there are too many people God has assigned to me for me to be in this thing halfway.  I dare not confuse or corrupt God’s people for the sake of fun.  I know what my assignment aka job is in the Kingdom and I take it serious.  God called me to help rescue the lost and that does include carnal minded Christians.  The same way I take my secular job serious; I do my spiritual job.  The word tells us in 1 Corinthians 15:33 to not be deceived; bad company ruins good morals (ESV).    

Three questions I encourage you to ask yourself anytime you are about to indulge in something and it maybe questionable. 1.  Is this a true representation of me, my true and authentic self? 2.  Is this a true representation of my leaders/ministry and 3. Is this a true representation of Christ? I guarantee is you ask yourself those 3 simple questions; you will choose right even when your flesh wants to choose wrong.  I encourage you to  complete a self-assessment starting today.  As a rescuer; sometimes people don’t understand the magnitude of the problem they have gotten themselves in or the danger they are headed toward, and it is my job to help stare these people back to safety in God.  I know that I won’t reach everyone but Lord knows every opportunity I get; I will share Jesus with the masses.  God didn’t want to just save you; He wanted to rescue you!

If you are at crossroad in your walk and find yourself compromising for the sake of fun but you desperately want your life to represent Christ, please don’t hesitate to email us at jillandtreal@detourmovement.com.  More than giving you information, we are invested in your transformation. We are here to serve you!


Committed to serving you,

Treal of Jill and Treal

Read more…

Friday, October 2, 2015

5 (Five) Reasons He Hasn’t Put a Ring on It!

5 (Five) Reasons He Hasn’t Put a Ring on It!

I come across women all the time who are in (or have been in) long term relationships but for one reason or another they have not gotten what they had hoped for from the relationship… which is long term love, and a healthy happy compassionate god-centered marriage. If this is you, I would say you fall in one of five main categories.

1.) You Haven’t Stepped Into Being the Best Version of Yourself!
This win the number 1 spot because once you step into the best version of who you are, understanding the source of your value and your worth, you will not settle for less than God’s best for your life. You will understand that greater is coming. You will understand that you can’t just take any man that shows up to your doorstep because you have to guard your heart, your mind, and your future. You understand that a relationship (and marriage) is more than physical intimacy… it’s about partnership and a ministry.

2.) You Are Dating a BOZO rather than a BOAZ

From my own past experience, and from observing others, it is fair to say that this is the #2 Reason the guy you are dating (or that you dated for years) has not put a ring on your finger! First let me start by describing what a BOZO says and look like. This is the guy that lies and cheat. He may be what I call “the Baller” who will try to buy your life by giving you money and paying your bills, but he does this for his own reasons and likely for other women as well. “The Baller” uses his money and/or his position as bait because he knows the women will come running. Another BOZO may be a guy that is very attractive and/or who is really good in bed. Just like the Baller, he uses his physical attributes to attract women and oftentimes women fall head over heels for this man. He shows up and calls when he wants to and returns your calls when (and if) he feels like it. The Final BOZO is the good guy. He is a genuine nice good but his values are not the same as yours. He has no problem going to church every Sunday and sleeping with you every day in between. Even as the good guy is still trouble because you find yourself attempting to choose between pleasing him or pleasing God.

3.) You Are Constantly Giving Up the Milk for FREE

You heard it a million times before “Why buy the cow when you can get the milk for FREE.” However, you still don’t get it or at least you are not practicing this principle in your life. In my book, “Be the Best Version of You: Dispelling the Lies and Uncovering the truth of a Fabulous You” I talk about the lie that sex will secure a relationship. Well let me tell you, I’ve studied thousands of independent cases from women all over the US including my fair share of sexual relationships, and it is very clear that sex alone NEVER secured the kind of long term healthy relationship that lasts. I have not found one woman who found a lasting marriage strictly through a sexual affair.

NEWSFLASH!!!!! IT IS NOT ABOUT THE SEX AND IT NEVER HAS BEEN!!!! THAT WAS JUST A LIE!

4.) You Were Not Honest with Yourself and/or the Man You Were Dating About What You Expected Out of the Relationship

Another mistakes women make in dating that keeps the man from putting a ring on it, is that you were not honest about your intentions. If you are not confident in who you are (or whose you are), you may shrink up instead of standing forth in the power that God has given you as a mighty child of the King. The truth is that you are perfect in His image just as your Father in Heaven is perfect and when you don’t put your standards and expectation clearly out there then you are not going to get the results you desire.

If you are in a relationship or want the best kind of relationship then it is not too late. Sign up for our audio “Making the Right Choice”. Then, write out all your standards and what you want out of a date or relationship. Be clear as a good Christian that the primary purpose of your dating relationship is for a god-centered marriage. Anything else, I am chucking up to FOOLISHNESS or a waste of time. If you are “too young” for marriage then avoid committing yourself to a boyfriend. Have friends, go on group dates and just enjoy life. This is the time you make it all about you and your God.

5.) You and/or the Guy Just Was/Is Not Ready for Marriage

The 5th reason is that either you or your present partner are not ready for marriage. I already covered this a bit when we talked about stepping into the best version of yourself but now let’s take a deeper dive. If either of you are still carrying hurt, shame, or the feelings of rejection or abandonment from a previous relationship (whether that was with the opposite sex, the same sex, or even a parent or friend), then you need to take a step back from the relationship and work on healing those old wounds so that you can take a healthier approach to your next relationship. It’s just foolish to try and commit yourself to show up 100% for someone else when you can’t even show up 100% for yourself! If your money is funny, you are not where you want to be in life, and more specifically you don’t have a clue where you are going in life or how to get there. When facing all this, it is foolish to be in a relationship as it will certainly fail and leave someone heartbroken. When you enter into a relationship, you should be whole (healed from past breakups and negative experiences), freed from the burdensome opinion of others, and clear about who you are in Christ. Both of you should be actively pursuing your goals with at least some understanding of what you what out of life. Of course as you evolve your goals will change, but if you don’t have a pot to… (you know what)… and you are still living with your mother and unsure how you are going to make your auto-insurance payment or some other bill, than the first order of business is getting you right.

At a minimum, these basic needs should be met: shelter, food/water, clothing and emotional stability. If you are not there yet; DETOUR from relationships and get on a good path to get you there!

If you are ready to invest in being o the best version of yourself and/or attract and keep a healthy happy relationship that will lead to marriage than I can help.  Schedule a What's Next Session with Treal and I today by clicking here!

Just sign up for my free video training on how to become the best version of yourself that will be released October 15th, 2015!

I will walk you through the four most common lies women believe from my future best-selling book “How to be the Best Version of You”.  After watching the video series, you will be able to dismantle all the deceptions that has prevented you from having the life and relationship you desire.

And if you haven't already, make sure you don't miss out on any of our exclusive offers and amazing content by adding your name and email address to the form below.



Read more…