Monday, May 15, 2017

Childless Mother & the Motherless Child Victory!

Motherhood is one of the most challenging and rewarding roles in society so no wonder so many women struggle with the feeling of measuring up while on the other hand, so many women desire to reap the benefit and honor of bringing forth life.

If you have lost your mother, grandmother or had an absent mom due to death, prison, sickness addiction or any other reason than I want to encourage you. If you lost a child due to an accident, suicide, miscarriage or if you are struggling to conceive, I want to encourage you.

Going through any lost is tough but losing a mother or child or carrying the burden of a deep desire to conceive is by far one of the hardest. 

First thing first, if you find yourself blaming yourself, stop it! Despite what you are going through EVERYTHING will work together for your good. Regardless of the bad decisions you made, the mistakes you made, the opportunities you allowed to pass you by; you still have an assignment and purpose for your life that no one can take it away. Then it wasn't your time, but now it is your time, so join me in claiming VICTORY as I share with you seven amazing women who found victory in the midst of their storm with motherhood!

Sarah went from being barren to birthing a son to many nations but she had to wait on God's timing. When the angel of the Lord told Sarah she would bring forth a child, she straight laughed in his face. Thankfully God's promise did not rely on her faith.  So if you are struggling with disbelief or lack of faith, God can give you the desires of your heart just be obedience and he will increase your faith and bless you above and beyond what you could ever think or imagine.

Pharaoh's Daughter served as surrogate mother to Moses as her father sought to kill all the little Hebrew boys but despite the adversity, despite the circumstances, God provided a safe haven for Moses just as God is providing a safe haven for your child if you had to give you child up for adoption or if you weren't/aren't able to care for your child(ten) right now.  If you are serving as that surrogate mother, stepmother, foster parent, godparents; you are truly a blessing to the children you cover, raise, support and provide that safe haven weather it is just for a day or lifetime.  Your children will rise up and call you blessed.

Hagar was used and abused by Abraham and Sarah to serve as Sarah's maidservant until Sarah birth her own son, Isaac. When she saw how Sarah was miss treating her and how Abraham allowed it, Hagar got out of there!  She refused to be mistreated by anyone even if it required her to be displaced and experience discomfort for a season.  If you are being mistreated, I want you to ask yourself why you are tolerating miss treatment. Don't you know you are far more valuable than rubies? Don't you know you are fearfully and wonderfully made in the image of God!

Hannah also had to wait on God.  She pleaded, time and time again with God to give her a son as she was barren. She promised God if He gave her a son, she would give that son back to Him and she kept her promise to God and when God gave her a son, she named her son Samuel and she dedicated Samuel back to God.  What are your motives for wanting a child? Is it for selfish reasons or is it to glorify God? Everything you should do, should be to glorify the Lord. If God gave you a son or daughter are you willing to dedicate that child back to Him?

Rachel was a mother to many and she was married to Jacob but she was unloved by her husband. Her husband always wanted to be married to her sister, Leah but their father deceived Jacob after he had worked seven years to marry Leah but Laban (the father) gave Jacob Rachel instead and made Jacob work another seven years to also marry Leah. Rachel thought if she had Jacob's children he would love her more but that didn't quite work out as planned. Despite her husband lack of love, Rachel still rise up to her role and responsibility as a mother to her sons. 

Can you relate to Rachel? Does your child's father give you the cold shoulder or just doesn't love you anymore? Despite his lack of love or participation, you have a job to do and it has to get done weather he loves you and your children along the way or not. Always remember don't get weary in well doing, you will reap a harvest if you don’t give up!

Naomi was widowed who also lost her two sons.  Left with two daughters-in-law who she urges them both to go back with their parents and remarry. One of her daughters-in-law, Ruth refused to go back home.  She told Naomi, "I will go where you go and I will serve the God you serve".  Despite Naomi's sorrow and bitterness, she witnessed to her daughter-in-law through her character. You may be the daughter-in-law to a bitter mother-in-law but don't allow that to steal your joy. Find the good in her and love her where she is even if it isn't where you think she should be.

If you are the mother-in-law, witness to your daughter-in-law with your deeds and your character be the example.  For the word of God says the older woman are to teach the younger women how to behave.

Esther was the motherless child.  It is unknown exactly what age she lost her parents but her uncle Mordecai stepped in and made sure she was okay.  Around the age of 12, she was literally competing and preparing to rise and reign as Queen. She could have had self-pity but she refused to allow her circumstances or where she came from define who she was and who she would become. If for whatever reason today, you are that motherless child/woman don't wobbly in self-pity or waste time questioning God. Know that He has a plan for you! He had it written before you were even formed in your mother's womb.

No matter which scenario you find yourself in, I encourage you to trust in God. Know He would never leave you nor forsake you.  Know he has plans to prosper you and not to harm you. Get connected to women of faith by connecting with groups like DMI Kingdom Women Lounge Facebook group, invest in your self-development to include your spiritual, emotional and physical health.  Get in the room with other like-minded women who want to achieve the same goals and aspirations that you want to achieve. Perhaps you don't  know where to start? Start with registering for the She's F.I.R.E. Conference 2017 happening on June 23-24, 2017 at Sheraton  College Park North in Maryland just 20 minutes outside of D.C.  Today only you can buy one ticket for $97 and get the second ticket for only $25!!!  Bring you and your daughter to experience total transformation!

P.S.  I pray you had an amazing Mother's Day yesterday! Unfortunately I got sick and I wasn't able to post yesterday.  I hope this blessed you!

P.P.S. Be sure to leave a comment below and let me know what you think.  Can you relate to any of these amazing women from the Bible? Have you started to experience your victory?  I would love to hear your story.

P.P.P.S.  Right now I am a childless mother.  The boy in the pic at the top of the page is my Godson/nephew, Bernard like 8 years ago.  His is blessed to have one of the best mom's in the world, my sister Sharron who I called my supermom!  She worked three jobs to provide for her and her children while attending school full time pursuing her R.N. degree.  I am so proud of her! The boy in the bottom page is my godson JaQuan, this pic was three years ago.  He will be 15 this year.  He also is blessed with an amazing mom who works hard to provide for her family and create experiences for them that will last a lifetime.

About the author: Jill Bulluck's Bio | Founder of Detour Movement Inc. a Faith-based organization that reaches 10,000 + women a week promoting the necessity of discovering your true identity through self-actualization rather than materialistic things, living out your purpose in a bold and unapologetic way, creating a life you love, attracting and keeping healthy happy love that leads to a lasting marriage. She is known as the Life & Dating Reinvention Strategist who prepares and positions women who have been able to get all the pieces of the puzzle of life together except this one area, dating relationships. As a result of working with her; women break free from toxic relationships;and ignite their life by standing and speaking boldly in their truth to becoming the boss of their life by being Authentic, Courageous and Non-Negotiable about the life and love they desire.  She is also the best-selling author of the book, "The Biggest Lies Women Believe about Men, Dating and Themselves and co-hostess of the annual  She's F.I.R.E. Women's Conference that gathers over 100 women each year. Visit here website at for more information.

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Sunday, May 7, 2017

3 Things you can do right away to foster growth in your marriage!

I have spoken with quite a few wives who feel like their marriage isn’t growing.  The length of the time they have been married varies from 3 to 10 or more years.  Many of them feel more frustrated than free since the day they said I do. Some even feel like they have plateau in the marriage and not sure of what is next.

I have some good news for you. Growth takes time and it is intentional.  During the first 2 years of my marriage, I felt like many of you – like nothing was happening. I can only imagine what others are feeling especially those that have been married much longer. What I can tell you is that the growth in your marriage begins with you. It will not be an overnight process and it will take consistency on both endsMarriage is like a business and if you want it to grow and succeed; you have to show up every day.

If I asked the question right now “Do you show up every day”; how would you be able to answer that? We tend to show up daily for our jobs, our kids, our businesses and even ministry, but when it comes to our marriage; not so much.  Why is that? The very thing we want more from, we then to give less to.

Good News! Each day you, yes you can do things to contribute to the growth of your marriage.  That is why marriage is a lifetime because it truly takes a lifetime together to get this thing 100% right. Self-growth is often the norm rather than the exception and before you argue that you are perfect or close to it- do me one favor and measure your current growth. The truth of the matter whether you realize, admit it or not, some growth has already taken place.  It may not be as noticeable or desirable as you like but something has changed.  Now that I said that, am I right or am I right?

Sometime growth is stagnant or delayed because once you get to a certain level you stop doing what you have done to get to where you are.  You will never see a committed and active athlete stop working on improving themselves.  Regardless of how great they are they never stop improving to be even better. 

Whether it is you or your husband, someone needs to be the initiator and because you are reading this blog, I vote for you (smile). 

THE 1ST ORDER OF BUSINESS TO ANY LEVEL OF CHANGE OR GROWTH IS REVIEWING YOUR MIND!  ROMANS 12:2 “Be not conformed to this world but be ye transformed by the reviewing of your mind, that ye may prove what is that good, acceptable, and perfect will of God.” Renewing of your mind consist of you getting rid of your old way of thinking and adopting the mind of Christ.  You have to change your mind about your marriage and the man you married.  Philippians 2:5 “Let this mind be in you which was also in Christ Jesus.”  You can’t focus on all bad and expect all good to be the result.  If there are areas that need to be addressed; communicate them and work through them together.  In times of disagreements; renewing your mind will help you to see that neither is right or wrong but both may have a different way of looking at things and handling them. Guess what? There is nothing wrong with that and can be used as an advantage and strength to your marriage if you allow it.

THE 2ND ORDER OF BUSINESS IS YOU NEED THE HOLY SPIRIT TO BE YOUR GUIDE THROUGH IT ALL! When the Holy Spirit is at work within you, you will be aware of your sin in your life that is affecting your marriage.  You will be able to clearly identify what is wrong and what you need to do or change to make it right.  It is ok if at first you don’t succeed, simply try try again.  Try as many times as needed.  Failure doesn’t mean there is no progress; it just means there is still room for improvement.

THE 3RD ORDER OF BUSINESS IS TIME! Getting upset or mad when you don’t see things happening right away further delays the process - doing so will cause you to neglect or ignore the change that has taken place.  He who began a good work in you, will carry it onto completion until the end and that includes the work started in your marriage.  If God started the work in you; you committed to renewing your mind; the Holy Spirit is leading you then know that it is all a matter of Time before you can clearly see the growth happening in your marriage.

Doing these 3 things is so important for you as a wife in helping foster growth in your marriage and this is why we are hosting the She's On F.I.R.E. Women Conference June 23-24, 2017 in Beltsville, MD.  The conference is for women who want clarity and direction on their mission and vision as they wait for their Mr. Right and for those who are married maintain a healthy life and marriage.  Having a healthy marriage starts with knowing who you are and identifying your purpose and assignment here on this Earth.

The conference website is

You can inbox me on Facebook @TrealRavenel for more information.

P.S. As part of our annual conference, we are looking to partner with fertility professionals and corporations who sell natural products.  Contact us via our website at

Treal Ravenel aka the Wife Coach

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