Don't pull the covers OVER Me. COVER ME - Part II

Last month’s blog entitled “Don’t pull the covers OVER me. COVER ME” – Part I,  we talked about covering and the importance of a man being in a position to cover his wife/bride.  We also talked about the  FIVE qualities he needs to possess.   If you haven’t read Part I, please stop, go back and read it before you read this one so you can get the full picture. If you already read it, carry on.  Here are the five qualities your potential husband should possess:

1 - Worship: Those that worship God must worship him in spirit and in truth. Check his worship meter. His ability to worship, not just during church service but daily will help you make the decision if he is fit to be your King.

2 - Prayer: And when you pray, pray our Father, who is in heaven, hallow (holy) be your name.  Can he pray? Does he know more than "Jesus wept" from an Easter program? Sista girl, if he can’t cover you in prayer, he can't cover you in any other area.

3 - Pastor (shepherd): Is he capable and fit to lead you in the word?  Does he understand the scriptures and are applying them to his life? What have you observed thus far? If he is doing a horrible job in leading him, he sure can't lead you.

4 - Protector: Is he in a position to protect you?  This is physical (natural) and spiritual protection. Is he gentle with you or harsh and insensitive? Can he pray on your behalf and intercept the devil's plan for your life? If he isn't observant, aware, and cautious; he can't protect you.

5 - Provider:  The man should do the heavy lifting, literally and figuratively. If he can't provide for you, he is not in a position to marry you.

The word of God tells us that where there is no vision, the people perish. Men are positioned to be the visionaries of their home, but if they do not possess these qualities, where or how are they getting their vision download?   I know the desire and need for women to get married is increasing daily however, I also know that the separation and divorce rate in the church is increasing daily as well. The common denominator is flesh. Women/men are choosing the wrong mate or at the wrong time or simply allowing their flesh to lead their relationships and marriages rather than the word of God.  When the going is good, God is the head, but when the going is not going, God gets pushed to the back.

You can’t desire a Godly relationship and remove God out of the equation. Marriage is a God idea and in order for it to work, you have to use God’s roadmap which is the word of God.  Ephesians 5: 25-28 says Husbands, go all out in your love for your wives, exactly as Christ did for the church—a love marked by giving, not getting. Christ’s love makes the church whole. His words evoke her beauty. Everything he does and says is designed to bring the best out of her, dressing her in dazzling white silk, radiant with holiness. And that is how husbands ought to love their wives. They’re really doing themselves a favor—since they’re already “one” in marriage.  – The Message version. 

How can a man do any of this without God leading him 100% of the time? How can God lead him 100% of the time if he is not spending isolated time in worship or prayer?

Let’s expound a little bit on the five qualities so you can see why these areas are so important for your future covering to possess.

Worship – it is the most vulnerable place that you can be with God. In time of worship, God will show your husband who he is and will also show him what he needs to be for you and toward you. Worship allows him to be naked and unashamed before God, withholding nothing but gaining everything he needs to be empowered, equipped, and encouraged as a husband, father, and leader. David was a worshiper. Despite his flaws, insecurities, and faults, he knew that a life of worship was a necessity not only for him to be a great king/leader but a great man, husband, and father.

Prayer – a life of prayer allows God to give him daily instructions and guidance on how to lead his wife and family. Prayer is talking to God. It is a two way conversation despite what you have been told. Prayer is the entry way to God’s heart and it provokes God to move on your behalf.  Prayer is more than rambling off request and demands, it is the ability to hear from God and to gain insight and wisdom on what to do next.

Pastor (shepherd) – if a man is unable to lead himself in worship and prayer, he most definitely will not be able to lead you or his family. A house divided against itself cannot stand and how can two walk together unless they agree. Ladies, if you are dating an unbeliever and you are a believer, you are unequally yoked. If you are dating a believer and you two are on a different spiritual level, you are unequally yoked. You should not be the one leading him to God or in prayer and worship, he should be in a position to lead you. Look at his lifestyle as a single man. Does he live a life of prayer and worship outside of weekend and weekly worship. What is he doing in his spare time? What does he spend most of his time doing? A Pastor (shepherd) is someone capable of leading you spiritually. Can you he do that?

Protector – can he protect you spiritually, mentally, emotionally, and physically? Does he possess qualities of a protector or does he possess qualities of an abuser? This isn’t necessarily physical abuse but it isn’t exempt. A protector is someone who can protect you from a person or thing that is trying to harm you, this includes the devil, hence why the above three qualities are vitally important.  Pay attention as to how he protects the other women in his life as well as those he claim are important to him. How he treats others is how he will treat you.

Provider – this should be a no brainier but let’s go here anyway. Listen ladies, if a man is incapable of taking care of himself, he is in no position to take care of you and a household. I know people run into hardships. I have had my fair share as well but at no time should he depend on you to carry him or the load in a dating or courting relationship. If he is not in a position to provide, he should not be seeking marriage. Marriage is a partnership and we are called to be each other’s help-meet, that is financially and otherwise. It is irresponsible for a man to date recklessly and then marry someone knowing that he is not in a position to provide or at least contribute to the welfare of his wife and children.  Allow him to get his affairs in order or at least be working toward getting them in order before you make a grave mistake in marrying him prematurely. Finances is one of the #1 reasons couples are getting divorced. Break the cycle!.

I pray after reading Part I & II of this blog series you will have a better understanding of what your covering should look like. It is easier to prevent then it is to cure a sickness or disease. I don’t know about you, but I am sick and tired of seeing marriages in the body of Christ separate and end in divorce. 

Let’s start making better decisions so we can starting seeing better outcomes.  We, the body of Christ, are the called, chosen, and example to the rest of the world as to what marriages should look like.

Treal Ravenel, The Wife Coach